It Takes 7 – 8 Touches to Start a Relationship

I’ve been going to networking groups for many years and the best advice that I’ve ever heard was in a networking meeting.  The business woman who was giving a 10 minute scoop and she stated that it takes 7 – 8 touches before someone remembers you.  That was an “aha” moment for me and has stuck with me since.

In her lesson, she stated that the average person needs to see or hear something about seven or eight times before responding.  You don’t want to rush the process, especially if you’re working with a cold contact.  People have to feel comfortable with you before they’re ready to move forward. Building a relationship is important.  People will buy if they are comfortable with you.

What is a touch?

A touch is any contact you have with someone in order them to get to know, like and trust you.  A touch can include a contact not related to the product you are selling, but gives them a chance to “remember” you.  You want to have more personal touches than selling touches.

What Kind of “Touches” to Use

This may include mail, phone calls, a meet and greet cup of coffee, text messages, emails and social media posts.

  • Mail 

Mail a card or personal note.  This is one of the best ways to “touch” someone.  No one is expecting anything but bills and junk mail, so imagine their surprise when they receive some personal mail from you.

  • Phone calls

Call just to say “hi” and see how they are doing.  Ask them how you can help them in their business.  Keep it short and maybe even set up a time to have a cup of coffee to get to know them better.

  • Meet them somewhere

Social media is one of the most popular ways people stay in contact with others.  This gets your picture…

  • Text messages

This is not the best way to stay in touch.

  • E-mail

Email is increasingly unopened, filtered out by spam filters, and ineffective due to its impersonal nature. In fact, up to 87% is deleted without being read! I have found in my business that email is effective with some of my clients, but not with all of them.

  • Social Media Posts

Social media is one of the most popular ways people stay in contact with others.  This gets your face out there to people that you are just meeting.  Comment on one of their posts, like it or post something fun on their wall.  While this is a popular way to interact, it doesn’t mean that the person will actually see it so make sure you are using more than one way to communicate with them.

And 31 Touches Yearly to Maintain that Relationship…

I was in another networking group when we were talking about the 7 touches and Bill elaborated on this by saying that it also takes a lot of touches to maintain that relationship that you just worked hard to get.

Mary Kay, Joe Girard and Tom Hopkins all knew this.

Mary Kay taught her consultants to “Make your people feel important.”  Her consultants were to send 3 handwritten thank you notes to 3 different people every night before bed.  Mary Kay’s company is now a $1.2 billion empire.


Joe Girard grew up in the projects of Detroit and became a cars salesmen.  He sent 12 cards to each of his prospects and clients every year.  Joe sold an average of 6 cars everyday which totaled 13,001 cars in his career.

Tom Hopkins went from making less than $50 a month in Real Estate to building an ANNUAL sales volume of more than $14 million with in a five year period.  He sent 10 thank cards every single day to people.  His business was 99% referral based within three years.

Reasons to Send a Card…

  • Networking event follow-up (nice to meet you)
  • Keep-in-touch (until the prospect is ready to buy)
  • Customer ongoing appreciation
  • Invitations to events
  • Holiday cards (Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year, Valentine, Halloween, Groundhog Day, etc.)
  • Encouragement
  • Get well
  • Celebration, Congratulations (baby, engagement, wedding, retirement)
  • Birthday
  • Sympathy
  • Express gratitude
  • Anniversary (annual renewal, major purchase)
  • Recognition (promotions, awards, graduation, etc.)
  • Apology
  • Marketing card that includes valuable tips and a discount offer



Thank You Notes

  • Thank you for talking with me on the telephone
  • Thank you for meeting with me
  • Thank you for your business
  • Customer welcome (thank you)
  • Thank you for your kind referral
  • Thank you for the excellent service you have provided for me
  • Thank you for taking your time to consider letting me serve you (after first refusal)
  • Thank you for taking your time to analyze my services (after they bought from someone else)
  • Thank you for using our service/product (sent at one year anniversary)
  • Thank you for your service (sent to those you do business with)
  • Thank you for expressing interest in our services
  • Prospect follow-up (thank you)
  • Seminar follow-up (thanks for participating)
  • Meeting follow-up (thanks for your time)




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